The One Where Unspeakable Horror Befalls Them....
At the FARTS Studio....
Macc: Be quiet!
Cloud: Oh! I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to be all narrator-ey!
Macc: Wait a sec? What drove me act like that?
Gilgamesh: *rides in on a go-cart* Hey, guys! What's up?
Macc: Gilgamesh, did you just RIDE something?!
Gilgamesh: Yeah. Why?
Ultros: That's not like you! You must be punished! *pushes a switch, and an anvil falls on Gilgamesh*
Macc: Ultros! Since when did you manage to not be on the recieving end of physical abuse?
Ultros: I dunno. I just felt something telling me to stop being an octopussy and just fight back!
Macc: This isn't right! Nothing here is going the way its supposed to! It's all so.... so.....
Dark Macc: Out Of Character?
Vegeta: (from overhead speaker, sounding disturbingly wimpy) Um... guys.... if you... uh... could.. maybe... uh.... try and.... um maybe..... fix it up.... I... uh... would really appreciate it! AAAAA! Spider!
Macc: This strange phenomenon has even affected Vegeta! It must be really strong! But who would sink so low as to turn the FARTS set Out Of Character?
Kunoichi: Team Rocket?
Macc: That's giving them too much credit.
Dark Macc: CATS?
CATS: Don't look at me! I had nothing to do with this!
Everyone Else: *stares at him in disbelief*
Macc: I never thought I'd hear you speak perfectly....
Ultros: Quit it you two!
Macc&CATS: *scream like little schoolgirls* Don't hurt us! Don't hurt us!
Ultros: Look, we still need to determine who would do this to us?
Gilgamesh: *getting up* Maybe it was Kefka.
Macc: Nah, not his style.
Macc: This doesn't fit his style either.
Kunoichi: Maybe it was that ex-maverick hunter leader with the Greek alphabet letter for a name....
Macc: That must be it! We must stop him! Let's teleport there!
Ultros: Um, forgetting something: ONLY YOU AND DARK MACC CAN, YOU TWIT!
Macc: (to himself) I really need to put an end to whatever the hell's going on here. I don't think I can take any more of this defiance that octopus has acquired from this... *starts to get all teary* It hurts my feelings! *slaps himself, snapping out of it* Dammit! Gotta keep from falling under this strange spell! (to everyone else) Okay. Ultros, Gilgamesh, Dark Macc, Kunoichi, you come with me. The rest of you guard this place. I have a feeling the OOC problem has made Vegeta somewhat inefficient at doing it himself...
Ultros+Gilgamesh: Wow! We get to come? After us usually being pathetic at fighting?
Macc: *tries to say "no, I didn't mean to say you two!", but his mouth and words act on their own and says "YES!"* (to himself) Grr! I ~really~ need to get rid of this problem....
So our heroes headed to the apartment that Sigma now resided in. *gets all giddy* God, I love this job^_^!!!!
Macc: You too, Cloud?!
Cloud: I can't help it! This phenomenon seems to be affecting everyone!
Macc: Let's just continue the story so we can get to the bottom of this, okay?
Cloud: Sure thing!
So anyway, our heroes finally arrived at Sigma's apartment.... Will they find the answers to this unusual phenomenon that has affected the FARTS cast? We'll find out.....
Macc: Sigma, are you behind this madness?
Sigma: Though making everyone turn OOC sounds tempting, no. I didn't do it.
Macc: Oh, okay.
Dark Macc: How can you believe him just like that?
Macc: He knows I can put him in a contract that can ruin his life and therefore fears me. So I trust him.
*they leave, and Sigma goes and resumes couch potato activities, which are clearly OOC for him.*
Angry from disappointment, our heroes headed back, but not before a quick pit stop in Mysidia...
Ultros: Grrrr, dammit! This puts us back to square one!
Mysterious voice: Not quite!
Gilgamesh: *turns his go-cart to the direction of the voice* Who... who's there? Show yourself!
*fire appears, and out steps a 3-foot-high larval imp-creature*
Macc: Who are you?!
Creature: I am Gogo, Master of the simula- um, I mean, I am Infernos! The author of this chaos!
Dark Macc: YOU were causing all this OOC mayhem?! Wish I thought of that...
Infernos: Mwa ha ha ha ha ha!!!! But you are too Out of Character to stop me now!
Dark Macc: That's not true. It didn't affect me.
Infernos: Suuuuuuure it didn't. Anyway.... Sephiroth! Seifer! Kuja! Attack! *three familiar faces from three familiar FF games emerge from portals and attack*
Gilgamesh: Wait a sec... I thought Sephiroth and Kuja were dead, and Seifer learned his lesson!
Infernos: You both were, but that doesn't seem to be holding you back! All right, boys. Defeat them!
Sephiroth: *goes into his Safer Sephiroth form*
Kuja: *goes into Trance Mode*
Seifer: *takes a deep breath and prepares to use his most famous insult*
Ultros: *gets into a fighting pose* It's Morphin' time!
Macc: What are you talking about?
Ultros: *realizes what he said* Ack! It's that stupid OOC spell!
Gilgamesh: *pats Excalipur* Excalibur, don't fail me now!
*Macc, Dark Macc, Gilgamesh, and Ultros do battle with the FF villains*
Kunoichi: *suddenly get all swoony over Infernos and grabs him* Oooh! I love him! So icky! So vile-looking!
Dark Macc: Great. The OOC spell has made her fall for evil, vile-looking things rather than cute things...
Macc: Doubt it. She liked Pikachu before the OOC spell...
Infernos: *squirming in the android's grip* PUT ME DOWN, NINJA-GIRL! *begins growing, and morphs into a huge, Violator-like demon, except red, and has a
black mane on its head and back, along with a loooong tail*
Kunoichi: Totally OOC now, she falls to her knees and starts crying like a sissy girl* M...my monster-thing....
Infernos: (in a deep, demonic voice) It seems my spell is a little faulty. Up till now you seemed to fall in and out of character. I'll just have to make the OOC permanent! Seifer! Lower their fighting spirit!
Seifer: *dodging blows from Ultros* What ya doin, Chicken-Wuss? Swatting flies?
Ultros: You'll pay for that! *tries harder, and manages to cause critical damage from his Tentacle Attack*
Sephiroth: SUPER..... NOVA!!!!!! *You know the drill. Comet flying. Plows through planets. Blows up sun, big explosion behind Sephiroth, and we all watch the eye candy to our sadistic heart's delight and after he is done and everyone receives their damage, our solar system comes back as though the Super Nova spell never occured*
Macc: Ow. (3456 hp knocked off)
Dark Macc: Ow. (3456hp knocked off)
Kunoichi: Ow. (2 hp knocked off)
Gilgamesh: Ow. (1,234,567,890 hp knocked off) Ha! Do they think hurting me will scare me off? They got another thing coming! *recklessly attacks, causing a mere 4 hp of damage* What the?!
Infernos: You can't win! Too bad you didn't think about hiring these three guys before me! MWA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!
Gilgamesh: *pulls out every weapon he has* I'm invincible! *morphs into his multi-limbed form and goes berserk on Sephiroth*
Ultros: I ain't scared either!
Infernos: Too bad being OOC didn't make you any more durable to powerful blows. *backhands Ultros, knocking him into a nearby Italian restaurant where they serve calamari*
Macc: How.... did.... you cast this spell?
Infernos: I didn't. I just used this Fate-Control machine and set it to "OOC Waves", and it affects anyone who's not working for me.
Dark Macc: Where is it?
Infernos: Oh, right over there! *points one huge clawed finger to a small glowing green box with several buttons on it* Ain't it a beaut?
Macc: Why did you just tell us where it is?
Infernos: I'll just make you too OOC to want to destroy it!
Macc: You're right. I don't want too!
Dark Macc: Fine. I'll do it.
Infernos: *record-scratch sound is heard* What? You..... WANT to?!
Dark Macc: You didn't notice, I haven't been affected at all the whole time. And I can't stand evil deeds unless I'm the one doing them.
Dark Macc shoots the box, and it blows up, and everyone is back to being in-character. Gilgamesh notices that he's fighting Sephiroth and flees(on foot). Ultros, meanwhile, having returned to his cowardly self, is seen fleeing the Italian restaurant screaming in terror as about 20 chefs chase him down the road holding meat cleavers and butcher knives. Kunoichi stops crying over the loss of her new "evil, sinister-looking critter", coincidentally finds Pikachu to cuddle, and leaves.
Infernos: You... ruined my evil scheme!!!!! *glares at Seifer, Sephiroth, and Kuja*
Kill them both!
*Seifer, Sephiroth, and Kuja advance on the two robots*
Macc: Hey, before I die, can you three sign this death certificate for me?
Sephiroth: Why do WE have to sign it?
Macc: Umm.... its a new rule! When a person dies, he/she needs at least three witnesses!
Seifer: Oh, okay. *all three break out their pens and sign*
Kuja: Now what?
Macc: YOU WORK FOR ME! *pulls off a paper covering the one the villains just signed, revealing..... (gasp) a contract....* Suckers!
Infernos: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! *shrinks into his bizarre smaller form, and pounds his fist on the ground, throwing a tantrum* Curses! I would have gotten away with busting a night of boredom if it weren't for you meddling..... robots.
Dark Macc: You did all this because you were BORED?!
Macc: That's just dumb.
Infernos: *thinks for a moment* ....Can we just call this whole thing a mistake?
Dark Macc: No.
Infernos: Thought so. *vanishes*
Macc: We did it!
Vegeta: *flies in, looking very pissed* WHERE WERE YOU TWO?!
And so, with the OOC phenomenon gone, things went back to normal on the FARTS set. Well.... as normal as it CAN be....
Celes: When Kefka and Zeromus got a tad OOC, they tried to take over the commissary in a clever, non destructive way..... so they taped nasty notes all over the room, and used graffiti on the walls. How will we get rid of all those notes before the next show that involves a scene at the commissary starts?
Macc: Easy. I got some new help around here.
Meanwhile, at the commissary room....
Seifer: *pulling the nasty notes down* These guys.....
Kuja: *spraying the walls with some stuff that deals with the sticky stuff tape leaves behind sometimes* Came.....
Sephiroth: *scrubbing off some graffiti on the walls that says "DA CLOWN WUZ HERE! "* ...BEFORE US!!! How can any of our FF villain predecessors cause this much trouble from being just a little OOC?!
(Concerning the SI, I wrote this after having a revelation that, whenever something unspeakably horrible happens to the characters in a story, its always technically the author's doing.)