Sbaitso: Hello SpoonyBard. My name is Dr. Sbaitso. I am here to help you. Say whatever is in your mind freely, our conversation will be kept in strict confidence. Memory contents will be wiped off after you leave. So, tell me about your problems.

Problems? Well, I'm going to lose my high speed soon, think you can help me with that?

Sbaitso: Please help yourself.

Help myself? Wish I could, but the frackin' ISP out home doesn't have High Speed as an option.

Sbaitso: What are your real problems?

The fork? I just told you. Me losing High Speed soon. Me no likey going back to dialup.

Sbaitso: Would you like to talk about needing help instead?

Would you like to the stop hanging of around CATS too much? You're giving me a headache, blorgit.

Sbaitso: Try to relax, SpoonyBard. You must be too stressful.

What, me stressful? What gave you that idea? I'm just PEACHY.

Sbaitso: What is it that you really want to know?

What I'd personally like to know is how the fork you became a Doctor, ya loony.

Sbaitso: Does that question really interest you?

What interests me is anime, and getting more of it. Which is my original problem with losing my high speed connection.

Sbaitso: I'm not sure I understand you.

You're not one who should talk about not understanding others. Baka.

Sbaitso: Perhaps you would like to be not one who should talk about not understanding others. Baka.

...talk you always this backwards?

Sbaitso: When?

Just now, ya backwards talking psycho. You ever work for SNK?

Sbaitso: We were discussing about you, not me.

Oh ho! So you're covering something, eh? You're behind it all, aren't you?

Sbaitso: Does it please you to believe I am covering something, eh? I'm behind it all, aren't you?

Ahh! No! You're the one behind it all! You're responsible for all the bad translations, aren't you?

Sbaitso: I think you are also behind it all! I'm responsible for all the bad translations, aren't you?

What? No! Don't drag me into this you backwards talking freak! I shall give you the great fork up with... confound it all!

Sbaitso: Oh, I'm...

You're what? Behind it all? A conspiritist? That's what it is, all for mistranslations! A conspiracy! It's a... crap!

Sbaitso: This is getting boring, just now were you talking about head problems?

I'll be having plenty of head problems once the obligatory ACME 1000 ton weight hits me for saying the forbidden word.

Sbaitso: Does talking to me help?

Oh hell no! You brought it all onto me, you conspiracy bringer-oner person!

Sbaitso: Don't talk about me in this way.

How can I not? You're responsible for all the bad translations we've received! I must go and tell everyone before I'm struck down for saying the C-word! *leaves*

A "WHUMP!" sound can be heard in the distance.

Sbaitso: I think I am struck down for saying the C-word too!

An ACME 1000-ton weight falls on the computer terminal with a "WHUMP!".