RPG Classics Mailbag #3

Only a day late this time! That's about 2700% improvement over last time! Anyways, this weeks question was "If you could bring over one RPG character into the real world for a day, who would it be, and where would you take him/her?" Well, this time the answers I got were pretty short, so I figured I could post a little more...so there's nine responses this time. Yeah yeah, I know I said last week I wouldn't do more than five responses each mailbag... but hey, I can't say it enough: It's my section, so I've got the right to do... well, anything really. Okay, enough chatter, let's get down to business. This first one's from a guy called Ajax...

"C'mon, this is easy! CYAN! ANYBODY who's played FF6 must have laughed from time to time at what this guy says,
"You... you licientious howler! I'll have you know,.. etc... etc....." for example. Where did this guy pick up his vocabulary, anyway? Imagine what this guy would say if he were brought into such a technological world such as this!

Seen it. There must've been a dozen movies on the "medieval guy comes to the future" subject, so after seeing those I can imagine what would happen. He'd probably go something like "These pernicious machines art everywhere!" and then start going around slashing cars to bits... then after fending off some cops he'd finally be overpowered by the M.E. and spend the rest of the time he had left in this world in a high-security prison. Okay, next... it's Zero again. Figures.

"Of course, without any other thought crossing my mind, i'd go grab Magus and bring him to a live show of the teletubbies, hoping that he would just go mad with horror/inner pain and blow up the entire bunch... that or bringing Cyan to the arcade, just to see him show the games "who's boss"."

Ah yes, interesting. That's Zero for ya, always looking out for the greater good, as long as plenty of stuff gets destroyed along the way. And there's another mention of Cyan too... now be honest Zero, with "showing the games who's boss" you're referring to Cyan playing the games, discovering he sucks at them and hacking them to pieces in anger afterwards, right? Of course. Now then... the next letter's from a certain ShadrachVS.

"I would have to say.... Damn this is a tough one... Cid... not sure which one though(too damn many of em) after getting one or all of 'em from the "void"(point to Macc, If you don't  know.. goto his part of the page)."

Hee hee hee, yeah. Those guys must be having a bitch of a time out there, with no fourth man to play Poker with.

"I'm a technology nut, and an Airship would be friggin' cool. Also I think that a computer would have any of the Cids(minus FF7's) freakin out. As to where... anywhere we could build an airship like the Redwings... with modifications of course. Thats it... I think..."

Well, the Cid's are good, but do you really believe any of them could build a whole airship in a single day? Oh well, with so much to see in this world I don't think any of the Cid's would want to waste his time on yet another airship anyway... Okay, on to the... hey wait, there's a P.S. in this e-mail.

"P.S. I wonder how many people will send responses about Aerith, Tifa, and other RPG women..."

Yeah, I was wondering the same thing. Well, let's see what Hibbs has to say.

"Well Macc, it's obvious who I'd bring to life. It's indefinate. It's so obvious, I speak on behalf of the world when I say this. I mean, how could I, Hibbs, be more absolute? It's not possible. In any case, it'd be Tifa from FF7. Now I know what you're thinking. But nooo, it's not like that. We'd go out, to grab a bite to eat, and then uh, go back to my place to uh, share stuff. And then we'd, ya know, talk about... politics. After that, the next morning we'd have a lovely early morning breakfast... and um, that'd be it. Just a good ole time, a rockin' good time..."

If you read between the lines real carefully (it's hard, but try) I think you'll all agree with me that this is utterly disgusting. Next letter! Let's see, it's from Tarannis and it says:

"Hi. Well, I would bring Quistis Trepe from FF 8 to this world, and I'd take her to my bedroom. Sorry about that, I couldn't resist (I don't know why everyone likes Rinoa so much- she's cute, but she's no Quistis)."

Oooooookay... you don't even HAVE to read between the lines in this one. Well, at least he's not afraid to admit it. But I guess with a question like this, this sort of thing was to be expected... Okay, who's next? Mark Pillar is it?

"I'd have to say I'd take Tifa from FF7 around for two reasons: 1. She's fine, 2. That no-shit attitude of hers is really cool. I'd probably take her to Italy because I love Italy, and because it's a great place to go when you're young."

Ah yes, Italy... such a great place to be. The great food, the women, the ancient ruins, the women, the ice cream, the women... oh wait, I'm missing the point aren't I? Well, maybe not entirely... In any case, that's score 2 for Tifa. Um, no wait! I didn't mean it like that! You guys have dirty minds... cut it out, or I'll wash your brains out with soap. Okay, next one. It's that Vegeta dude.

"I would bring Rinoa onto the world for a day because she is hot, and i think it would be romantic to spend the day with that sexy chick!"

Okay, okay, I get it, I'm only going to get more e-mails about wanting to bring over RPG chicks, right? Oh wait, this one's different. No name noted, but in the e-mail header it says Timothy J. Stevenson.

"In a word? KEFKA. I would invite him to Disney World and watch the chaos envelope the happiest place on earth. He was just plain VICIOUS! hahahahaha!"

Ha ha ha! Now that's my kind of comedy! I think Zero would enjoy that too: Destructive, yet useful in a deranged sort of way. Wouldn't you just love to see one of those guys in a Mickey Mouse suit try to hug Kefka only to get blown away with powerful magic? Of course you would! Ah, that was refreshing, I needed that. Okay, one more letter before I call it quits. From... SaiyanSka? Interesting name.

"I think I would have to bring Gau from FF6 to the real world for a day just to hear him babble on about how it's "Shiny Shiny Shiny Shiny Shiny". I would laugh my ass off all day long. Or I get a black mage from FF1 and take his
kick ass straw hat!"

LOL... "Hey, nice of you to come over, Mr. Generic Black Mage. I'll take your hat now, thank you very much. Now get out of my house, ya goddamn freeloader!"