Day 2

8.30 AM

*yawn* I can't believe I'm already awake at 8.30 in the morning... again! Of course I also didn't sleep as well as usual. I blame it on my not being able to do all the things I usually do before going to bed. *sigh* I miss my internet friends. Granted, some more than others, but believe me, right now I'm thinking of each and every one of them. There, that's enough sucking up to the people who'll be reading this, time to get up. Yeah. Any minute now...

9.30 AM

Breakfast time. This is just odd. My routine usually goes: Lunch-Dinner-Midnight Snack. I can't remember the last time my routine actually started with Breakfast... Oh wait, yes I can. That was yesterday. Bah... I'm not really very awake at all yet...

10.30 AM

And off we are again on our noble quest for the tourist info center. This time ignoring the sign we previously followed. Turned out to be a good decision. About 100 feet ahead was another sign to the tourist info center... pointing in the exact opposite direction of the previous one. But hey, Germany isn't famous for its logic, it's famous for its beer. And it shows.

11.00 AM

Sure enough, we're in the right place now. Time to spend some time grabbing random advertisements and brochures on worthwhile things in the area and be on our way.

12.00 PM

Back at the hotel, planning our next move. I did have an ulterior motove for coming here, after all... someone made off with a large part of my supply of lemons. Fortunately I have a tracking device, cleverly disguised as a lemon, hidden among the actual lemons. It'll be a cinch to track it down. So it's time to go do just that. To the Macc Mobile! ...wait, it's not my car. Ah well, I'll call it the Macc Mobile anyway, that just sounds cool.

12.40 PM

...some old lady just mooned us. That was just plain ol' freaky.

1.30 PM

We've arrived on the spot, and... well, there's nothing here. Wait... the signal's actually coming from about a mile /below/ us...

1.40 PM

Found out why. There's a museum nearby, built over an old abandoned mineshaft. So after slapping my forehead going 'That's original!', the museum was obviously our next destination. First, I used my vast expertise in the ways of stealth and infiltration to get inside the museum... well, at least I thought I did. Turns out I managed to get into the restaurant next door instead. Oh well, might as well take a break for more of them french fries.

2.30 PM

Right, so this time, I used my vast expertise in the ways of stealth and infiltration to /really/ get inside the museum. How did I do it? Um, well, I er... okay, okay, so I just paid the entrance fee and signed up for a tour through the mine. The tour's not due for another hour, so that gives us plenty of time to check out that museum.

3.30 PM

Gee, that museum sure does have a lot of... er, mining-related stuff. Okay, so I'm not particularly thrilled about museums, sue me. Well, whatever, time for the tour. And since we're going into a mine, we're all required to wear met hats while down here. Works for me. Even though I already wear a helmet. If I have to wear a particular one, fine...

3.35 PM

The tour group's taking a train though the mineshaft, but they're not going in the right direction! So I'm taking the opportunity to sneak away, jump on a minecart and... be surprised it doesn't automatically move. Damn. Must've been playing too much Mega Man X to think that would happen.

3.45 PM

Moving this cart is a pain... why do I even bother? I'm going ahead on foot.

4.00 PM

Getting very close to the source of the signal... there it is! My lemon supply! It's here! Boy, that was easy. Almost too easy...

Muhahahahaha!

Crap! It's Gene Simmons!

Of course. You didn't really think I'd let you take back the lemons I put so much effort in stealing without a fight, did you?

Not really. In fact, I've been looking forward to beating the crap outta someone for this.

Ah, but it won't be so easy! Arise, my Zimmonites!

*makes silly noises*

...those are Putties.

No they're not! Look! They have a 'Z' for Zimmons on their chest!

...Gene, your last name's spelt 'Simmons', with an 'S'.

Bah! Details, details...

So what you're saying is that these are in fact not Putties, and therefore can't be taken out by a single hit to the 'Z', like this? *punches a random 'Zimmonite' in the 'Z'*

*makes more silly noises, then shatters*

...lucky guess! That doesn't mean a thing!

Whatever. *easily dispatches the rest of the 'Zimmonites' in the same way*

Hey, that's no fair! You're supposed to at least pretend you're having some amount of trouble beating them...

Maybe next time. So, will you fight me now?

...maybe next time. Gene Simmons... Escape! *vanishes*

4.05 PM

Guess that means my lemon collection's mine once again! Go, me! Now there's just the little matter of getting them all back out... oy. This is gonna be harder than I thought.

6.00 PM

Thanks a lot to the museum people, who were really good sports, we got all the lemons loaded into a couple of trucks. Now we better head back quick or we'll be late for dinner!

7.05 PM

Made it just in time. Dinner is Random Vegetable Soup, followed by green beans, french fries (of course!), and something that looked like a schitzel. But when I cut the 'schitzel'... something oozed out. Something that I could identify on a glance. Something that made me run away in fear. Cheese! Argh! How dare they put something I'm allergic to in the meat? I've become convinced that Gene Simmons tried to get rid of me using that cheese-filled meat... he apparently knows my weaknesses well. I must be cautious.

8.30 PM

We found out from one of the many advertisements we picked up that there was apparently a fair in town somewhere. Seems like fun, so that's gonna be our next destination.

9.00 PM

Apparently, the German definition of a fair is 'throw down a few rides, then surround them with shops selling random junk'. Really, it's more like a market than a fair. Oh well... when in Germany, do like the Germans, I guess. So I bought me a couple T-shirts. I suppose my choices were largely influenced because of my recent encounters with Death, who is really not that bad once you get to know her, since both shirts feature the Grim Reaper. One reads, 'Time's up', and the other reads, 'Angel of Death'. Oh, and Death, if you happen to be reading this later, remind me to ask you... what's up with this Grim Reaper guy anyway? Does he work for you, is it a disguise you use sometimes, or what?

9.30 PM

Damn, this fair's way too crowded... it'll take hours to get to any of the good rides at this rate. Well forget this, I'll just come back some other day th... what the?

*make silly noises*

Not again! ...oh well, might as well follow Gene's suggestion. It'll be more fun this way.

*insert needlessly long action scene here, where fancy martial arts moves are employed to simulate actually having to put some slight effort into beating guys who can be taken out with one well-placed punch*

That's that... Okay, I know you're there, you might as well come out.

Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!

Oh God, no. Wat the hell are /you/ doing here?

Hey, us Simmonses have to stick together! So, wanna fight me? Huh? Huh? *shadowboxes in a really gay manner*

........AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! *runs away*

10.00 PM

Good God. Gene and Richard Simmons together? This is gonna be tougher than I thought. Luckily we managed to get away this time. Hey, looks like we fled right into a casino. Hmmm. This has potential.

10.30 PM

Y'know, casinos just aren't any fun when you realise how much money they're costing you. Wasn't even an actual Blackjack table and Roulette table... everything was automated. And after figuring out just how horrible the odds were, we quickly made our exit before blowing too much money on a hopeless cause. We hadn't gotten very far yet after exiting before I spotted something in the distance that looked like laser beams being shot into the sky. Naturally, we ran all the way there to investigate. Turns out, it's a laser show done by the local disco. ...hm, let's take a peek inside.

41.78 XM

I seem to be experiencing a chronometer malfunction. Visual acuity is down to less than 38%. I don't understand. I was fine a few minutes ago. I suspect sabotage.

Proceed to Day 3 ----->