Ladies and Gentlemen, here he is: Rast.

Never fear, for I have arrived!

...right. Okay, let's get the formalities over with first... welcome to the show, Rast.

Thank you Macc, I'm glad to be here.

So, you realise and accept that anything you say can and will be used against you?

Well, ummm...

Just waive all your constitutional rights, that's fine too.

...I guess... Do I get to keep my sword?

Of course.

OK then... *signs the contract*

Right then... *sits back* Go ahead. *looks at Rast expectantly*


You know... go ahead and plug your site. I know you're going to, so do it now and get it out of your system.

Oh! I had Ultross do that already, remember?

If I had eyebrows, I'd raise one right about now.

Shut up, Ultros, we're talking here. As I was saying... this is the first time you're on my show, so I'd expect you to do so again.

Shouldn't we save that for the commercial break?

We have a commercial break now? I didn't even realise people were watching the show.

Well, every other show does. That's how they make money you know.

Oh. Well. I don't know if anyone would want to buy commercial time in between THIS show, but I'll give it a shot then. Not that I NEED the money after those battle royals...

True... you know, I still haven't ever seen "Who wants to be a millionaire".

Aw... that's not good. You'll displease the good god o' game shows...

Yes, but I hardly ever watch TV... it's so boring usually.

Yeah, I know what you mean... I tend to record stuff and watch that over and over. *holds up 13 tapes labelled "Pokémon"*

You have 13? I only have 2! That's not fair! I'll have to hire Locke and even us up.

What's he going to do? Hunt for treasures?

Yeah... he's a professional you know.

I see. *puts tapes back in strongbox* Now, I have this contract with the boy and dog from Secret of Evermore, so I'll just put them on watch.

Wonder Boy and Super Mutt? They love me! You got a contract with them though?

Yeah, got it from Khazad for my birthday. Hmmm, Wonder Boy and Super Mutt huh? Works for me... gotta call 'em something. Hey, Wonder Boy, you back there?

Yeah, I'm here... hey Rast.

Hey Wonder Boy. How ya doing?

Oh, I'm great. Macc's letting me help out with his show, so now I can...

Alright, alright, enough already. I'm not not paying you to talk.

Errr... this double negative thing is confusing...

That's okay, I'm not not paying you to think either. Here, catch. *tosses Wonder Boy the strongbox* Guard this with your life. And I do mean with your life.

Will do! Seeya Rast! *leaves, waving*

Hopefully, something nasty will happen to them...

Oh... well... I can just send Bahamut with Locke (he lives in a cave in my yard), they shouldn't slow him down any.

Locke lives in a cave in your yard?

No! Bahamut does!


I have Locke on my speed dial, but I don't know where he lives.

Ahem, so... hmmm... that sounds interesting... *writes on his notepad* Nice trick, I have to remember that... speed dial... oh wait, I have this. *holds up Universal Remote* That works wonders too.

True, but I have the Almightly Palm Pilot.*Holds up a Palm VII*

Indeed. Er, hmmm... this would be a good time for a commercial...

OK... just a moment. *runs away*

Right then... Ultros, do we have any good commercial music?

Oh. Well, just play whatever then.


BESIDES the opera battle theme of course. Play that, and something nasty will happen to you.

Damn! Almost got away with it that time...

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